By Kevin L. Vaughn
It was fall 2022, and I was heading to Florida for a warm winter’s nap. My trip was scheduled to be a leisurely 4-day drive down I-65, stopping off at several Harvest Host locations overnight on the way to Fort Myers, Florida. As I headed south out of Illinois, I found myself scoffing, barking, and swearing at various drivers passing me at high speeds and then pulling in front of me abruptly nearby. As an avid cruise control user at 65 miles an hour, I found it aggravating to disengage and reengage my speed control while taking evasive action repeatedly to avoid rear-ending them.
I quickly realized that no cussing, swearing, yelling, or even gesturing at these drivers would change their usual mode of operation. I assessed that some are so focused on where they will be that they need to be more cognizant/mindful of where they are. Some are always in a hurry, obviously in a hurry to die by being reckless. Then, the rest are just inconsiderate and disrespectful.
So there lies the question: how could I communicate to these drivers in a way that would make them realize that what they were about to do was a bad idea? Better yet, it is important to make them mindful that how they drive is dangerous. I could put a positive spin on it so they would remember the point and even make them chuckle.
So, I started playing with some sayings/phrases I could post somewhere passing drivers could see and read if they had that skill, too. That somewhere turned out to be a custom spare tire cover on my 2018 Jeep Wrangler, which I tow behind my 45-foot motorcoach. Now, it came down to what phrase I picked that had to be concise and correct to the point. After several brainstorming sessions, I came up with these possible phrases to consider before beginning production.
Are your unrecognizable remains worth a “Brake Check?”
My mom says you “can’t fix stupid,” but I can!
After you slam your brakes on in front of me, the last thing that will pass through your mind is my license plate.
Have you ever wondered what it feels like to be a bug on my grill? Brake Check me.
What do you call 8,000 pounds being run over by 49,000 pounds? Steam rolled.
Before you cut me off, let me give you $.25 to make your last phone call.
The view of me running you over is much better behind the wheel, my steering wheel.
Wanna fit in those skinny jeans again; just cut me off.
However, one other phrase stuck out to me: that could benefit those less fortunate and in medical need. As you may know, many ill patients are awaiting the opportunity for an organ transplant, and there is truly a lack of donors. I have registered to be an organ donor when a situation presents itself. So, here is what I came up with.
Shortly after, I produced and installed the spare tire cover on my Jeep and left Florida to head north. I quickly made an amazing discovery during this drive, and it improved my driving safety. I assessed that, surprisingly, 98% of drivers gave me a respectful amount of room when they passed me. The other 2% came even closer than before, indicating they intentionally made those maneuvers. But the handful of drivers that came by every day waving and tooting their horns, indicating they supported the tire cover message, really made my day.
Last year, one of my friends contacted me, indicating that my spare tire cover made a huge splash on a Facebook RV group. Someone had seen it in Wisconsin, shot a photo, and then took the meaning wrong. I was verbally lashed on the group about being some crazed road-rage lunatic, looking to hurt other people with my RV. Fortunately, one of my former students from Ohio was in that group and shamed the originator, telling them they had it all wrong and that I was supporting safe, driving an organ donation for a good cause.
One day, I had a business card left on the windshield of my vehicle from someone from the organ donation association, thanking me for my support. They later sent me magnetic decals on my jeep to further support organ donation.
Two years later, I witnessed less frequency in the RV, heading north from Florida. However, those 2% are pulling much more daring moves. I wish my dash cam footage were admissible in court because I could get 2 to 4 drivers off the street daily. Maybe it’s time to change the spare tire cover to read “Rocket Launcher Installed On This Vehicle” or “Speed Camera Integrated.”
In the meantime, I applaud those respectful drivers every chance I get, knowing the others don’t want to be brain donors.
Jacks Up… and see you down the road!